nobody knows

2006-11-22T07:39:00.000-08:00

Dear Friend,

Everyone around mi has changed. Sumtimes i feel so small standing beside them. They seem veri distant from me. I feel the aura of awkwardness. I feel veri fake.

Juz when i wan to be close, other things seem to intercept us. Mayb this is wat i wan to do. Drifting away from u so tt u can be wif her. Y do i feel a wall separating us all the time?

Y do sum pple can be so mean wif their words? Dun they noe tt even if they dun mean wat they say, those words actually still carry weight? I'm juz disappointed. Since they dun mince their words, mayb i shld return them the favour too.

I tink my life is going downhill agn. As in, it's not as exciting. Well, at least i feel tt my health has improved, my appetite is coming back and my routine life is back on track. Isnt tt good, u may say?

I'm juz plain weird. Haha. Tt's according to my Sir -_-"

Hmm. I shall list out the things i wan to do soon! ((:

1). Bowling ( This friday! YIPPEE = )
2). Eat PastaMania Spicy Chicken!!! Yum Yum
3). Climbing the Pyramid @ West Coast Park
4). Jogging / running / gym-ing? Hmmmmm
5). Pool cum arcade mania. HAHA
6). MOVIES. It's been so long since i last watched one. Sobsob >.<
7). Clean the hse? Ok. I will do tis during the coming weekend :D

Woots. Now i feel much much more happier aft i wrote down wat i wan to do. Lol. Seems excited bout tis fri too. Though ystd he rmbed it, i duno if he will really come. Who knows? He might hav forgotten all bout it when fri comes rite? I wan to win for our team & him!!!!!! HAHA.

Wish mi all the best guys! (= (= (=

2006-10-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

NP students PLEASE support! (( :

2006-09-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

Presenting to u... Famous Six + 1 & the organiser of Green Fusion Camp 06 JOYCE =D (second person in the middle row). Hehe, it looked as though she's kissing Aik Nen. Juz kidding!

One of my fav pic tt i put together painstakingly. But it's worth it cos it turned out great! :)

I miss holding her to slp in my hand. I will always love & miss my beloved hamster, Choki =(

Haha. Rmb tis? I was 'busy' drawing' when i shld be helping u to clean ur clubhse! =X

Something tt i created late one nite a long time ago when i cant get to slp

On my birthday. Glad tt all the gals turned up including u JOYCE =)

2006-09-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

Nurul

We seriously need to talk. I need to clear some mists with u. I need to register to be your friend again. Give me 1 week time, yeah?

Love
Joyce

2006-08-06T23:16:00.000-07:00

Yana..

These days, I just simply can't help it by 'sighing' most of the times. I'm just as tired as a dead creature. This is the path that I have chosen. Neither will I give up nor complain much. However so, my mind is in total chaos, right now.

I appreciate 'nice' people like you. All along, I have not been real good in my words. Even though I look ordinary and harmless, yet, I can b ethe most venomous demon hiding in my shell. You guys can never figure me out, either. I don't wish to lie. Honestly, I'm happy that we all have been through so many countless storms and dark patches of life, together. It's worth.

Thank you very much.

But.. I do admit that you still don't really understand me. Sometimes, I feel hatred overcoming me. Maybe I'm just childish as before. I don't understand why you have to do things which you don't really have to do. This is just my personal opinion. You don't have to mind too much. Just - be yourself. That's more important.

Have I lead a fruitful life?

Is 18 years good enough for me?

I really don't know, Yana. Not to even mention you, I just want to cool off, alone. I don't need pity and concern. I merely ask for a minute of silence. That's equivalent to 60 seconds. That's long and short. It boils down to how you look at things. I have perspective views from the others. You make your own choices.. Mark that in your mind.

It's has been 5 years I suppose. Yet, I can't shake those memories away. I kept thinking of him all day all night. I cried myself to sleep at night. I can't behave myself properly. I'm just so scared. Those nightmares. Could it be the past that's haunting me? I really don't know. All I know is.. I'm different from the crowds. I'm just indifferent from the rest. You know why I don't really want to mix with the girls, for instance?

Honestly, I think they are just yet another bunch of spoilt brats. They know nothing except playing and having fun all day long. They have no worries. For me, it's a totally different case. Since young, I'm considered a much more 'sotong' and 'naive' and 'absent-minded' than other people. Even so, I'm quite sensible. I have to take good care of my family. I have too many underlying problems. I can see disasters looming nearer. I can't have fun all the time. I need money. I need certificates. I need to oversee everything. If not, this family will fall. It fell tons of times in the past. There are just so much that I didn't tell you.

All I want to say..

Different backgrounds can make one different from the others.

I have no idea who's going to read this entry. But.. Let me tell you this. 'Don't be deceived by appearances'.'

I hate them.

I hate the words and screams and clickings.

Shut up.

No comments please.

Sincerely,
Xue

2006-08-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's nearing the end of another year again huh?

National Day is juz 3 days away.

Exams are approaching too =X

Joyce has been veri busy ever since she joined ERS.

She & her president hav been egging mi to join them.

But yet each & every time i decline their kind act of gesture.

N i will speak the same reason times & again.

" I am afraid of commitments. To be tied down. "

Tell mi. Wat sort of answer is tt?

Words of a coward?

Or words of sumone who is afraid to face up to pressure prior to the responsibility given?

I dowan to take up sumting which i am not confident of achieving.

I tink i hav a warped mindset.

To mi, doing the possible is better than striving to do the impossible.

At least, there will be less risks for disappointment.

But one thing is for sure.

I've given my word.

I will always be here if u need anything, Joyce.

Be it a helper for ur events or merely a participant =) =)

Love,
Yana

2006-07-21T01:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Yana,

I had always wanted to tell you this. But.. I just don't really know how should I put it into words. All I want to say is, "Don't trust me too much. I might not be a good person. Do mark my words.".

All along, I have been quite doubtful of life. The things which propelled us to today. The people we meet in my life. The sweet memories engraved inside our hearts. Many times, all these don't last. Do they?

Recently, I have been down. Somehow, I'm like defeated deep right. I feel like I'm in deep shits now. I have no moods for anything. I'm not a failure. But.. The feeling isn't quite right. Something's amiss. And.. I have absoultely no idea what that was or those were. I'm just feeling terribly dizzy. I ahve got no more additional strength to think anymore.

Everyday, I must drag myself to school. In school, I must smile at people whom I don't think I will ever bothered to, in the first. I must work in hand with people I don't find nice. I must pretend to be as nice as possible. One word - FAKER.

I'm just a poser. Isn't me?

These stifling atmospheres are stopping me from growing. I feel dead tired. Sometimes, I don't even want to move at all. All I want is to close my eyes and be inside my dreamlands. At least, I'm happier there. I feel stressed and un-natural in front of the girls. Seriously, I shouldn't think like this. Nevertheless, Í just can't help it but thinking so. I miss my old friends a lot. Really.

Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep at night. 'Cos I realised everything's changing. Nothing's the same anymore. Even my old friends, too. They are just indifferent. The emotions are really not like before. There are gaps everywhere. I don't feel secured at all. I'm drowning. Yet, nobody will save me. Everybody's selfish in their own ways. That's when all personal crisis looms in.

I feel vindicated. This is all about justice. I know you will surely ask me to relax. But, I can't take it anymore longer. How do we actually stop other people from using us? How can we ever find a genuine friendship? How? How can we baulk people at the work? How can we not be mislead in the crowd, again? How do we stop ourselves from being led blindly by the nose?

To me, I feel strongly all these while. For you, I'm not too sure. Honestly, I think you will disagree with me. Maybe you might want to stand togther with the rest? I don't mind, actually. I'm contented enough to have you by my side all these year. It's has been 1 year plus since I know you. In short, more than 12 months. That's quite long.

Once more, one word - Thank you.

Comprehension dawned on me. If you are going to leave, I'm not to stop you. Still, thanks lots. You have been my moral supporter. You have done a great job, not just as a friend. You accepted me though I'm very ninny. Regardless, I'm adamant. It's like.. Amid the pandemomium as the siege comes to an end.

I always felt your eyes upon me. Your gestures and kindness touched me greatly. Perhaps I seem too exaggerant over here. But.. You know I know can already. Nothing much can express my thoughts. A listening ear does wonders.

Like I say, you are a excellent dependant for me in school. In addition, for my CCA, too. But, you are a gem friend. I don't really need you to understand or be very close to me. Seriously, I hope I'm like a watch which is a modern icons, transcending its usefulness. That's all. Really.

I'm just tired of the seeing the same old people daily. Sometimes, I can't even stand myself. I have those people act as if they are always high up in their positions. I just loathes the everything of them. As a result, they have gained a 'reputation' in my dictionary. I know hatred is a sensitive word. But..

I rather remain in a silent world than face them. Honestly, my personality don't click with the rest. That's why I can't blend in. I have tried giving ways and joined them for as much as possible. Yet, I still feel the distance. It's like the things they like and do, I don't.

For instance, I like to plant trees and talk to them. Whereas, the rest will surely give it a miss and go chalet. I love to go to an old folks' home and help out and observe the future of mine. Unlikely, they will be like me. I like to read things they don't even hear before. I go for auntie things and the rest are all so trendy. I prefer to be simple. The rest choose to be indifferent. I'm an extreme introvert. The rest like to be take photos and are so sociable.

Maybe I dwelled on too much. It's time for me to move on. I will continue my life as before. But, I'm going to lead my life, instead. All the best to you.

No matter what, please choose a route that you think you will be happy in your life. Do things for the reasons you want. Do not follow without acknowledgement.

Love,
Xue.

2006-07-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

We pondered together today. What is the real purpose in coming to school? Is it merely to spend time & waste money? Why is it that some people are so unfocused & keep idling when they know they should be doing something meaningful or at least try to change for the better?

I think i'm growing up now. Like finally. I'm thinking more and more about my future; about how i want my future to be like. Never have high hopes lest you get disappointed.

I've learnt a veri bitter lesson. It's good to care for others but dont care too much at the expense of yourself. As the famous saying goes 'Never expect anything in return'. Does appreciation, grattitude, acknowledgement count?

Gosh. I've been contradicting myself recent weeks. And my mood. Is practically flactuating =/ Why do i always find faults wif other people? I know that i am judging too much. I'm minding too many matters. Down to the nitty gritty details.

Basically i'm ranting here. As usual. Lol. Today's IMGT test was fine. Manageable. Haha. Cant stop laughing when i'm being reminded tt we both dislike to hear 'their' voices. And through voices alone, one can actually gauge how the person's characters are.

Ya. Ya. You might tell me that nobody is perfect, etc. But what the heck man? I no longer want to be the girl who is always being taken advantage of by my peers. Damn. I juz need a new environment. Put me in a Business classroom or something. Let me experience knowing new people. New teacher. New everything.

Ok. I should feel blessed instead. Ranting session over.

-peace out-

(=

2006-07-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

They

Time after time,
I told myself.
The emotions I felt,
Just kept coming back.

Till then,
We shall see.
Halt on,
And cry if you want.

I know that,
I hear it.
Somehow I pretend,
I don't.

All I ask is,
Merely a silence.
Yet,
You turned me down.

I walked off,
You didn't follow.
I cried off,
You sneered hard.

So, I suppose
All was taken.
You and me,
Forever impossible.

Goodbye my tear,
Wave strong.
I can't,
You too.

2006-07-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

DOTS..

Just now, I accidentally close down ALL my internet windows. So angry lo. Now, I must restart all over, again. Once more lei. KNS. Oh my oh my..

Anyway, I'm just too tired to continue la. I just aga aga say la hor?

Monday: I fell down during training. DARN pain lo. Honestly, I never felt so pain before in my whole life. Luckily, nobody see me cry sia. If not, so PIE SAE can. First time I really felt so pain. I promised to be careful. Pain really means pain. Saya tauk bulay tahan. LOL.

Tuesday: I couldn't walk at all. I skipped my IS POPCLUTURE. That lame module man. In the morning, I went to see a western doctor. So awkward! He actually asked me to lay both of my legs on his lap lo. What the.. -.-lll

Anyway back to the day, I went to see a chinese sinseh during late afternoon. He wrapped my swollen log like a dumpling sia. SO FUNNY LO! And.. You know what? s$39/= just flew off in a single day man. OH MAN! I'm so xin tong lo. HEARTPAIN lei. Medical fees are way too expensive. I must save and take care of myself MORE.

Wednesday: Yesterday.

Thursday: Today.

Friday: Tomorrow.

And my conclusion is.. Terima kasih! Thanks for helping me around. I look like a cripple, though. LOL. I'm glad u are around with me. SO HAPPY CAN! Muacks*

NOW.. I'm going to begin my gratitude list. LOL. Sorry very boring ar! NAH:-

YANA! Without you, I'm nothing. We're inseparable, just like the lightning and thunder!
Adeline Choo. I missed her lots. My ex sister in christ.
Ah Hua. My cheeky cousin.
Ah Long. My cheeky cousin's brother. BOTH take good care of me! WEE.
Aik Nen. A cute, little guy! Hehs.
Alvin. My long, LONG buddy! Skateboarding rules!
Alvon. My ex primary schoolmate. He's so NICE, to me.
Cai Yun. My NPString's friend. A nice girl.
Christopher Chin. A good ERS friend.
Christiopher Choo. A real wonderful ERS buddy. Thanks for helping me out so, SO much!
Clarence. No matter what, he's still a nice chap. I don't deny that.
Daniel. WOO! Fishball! Kawaii neh..
Darren. A lame guy. Hehs.
David. A kid that I babysit for 7 years. Hope u are doing well in CWSS band! Don't throw my face 'wor'!
Dean. My 'Monday' lunch mate. Thanks for everything. You are forever NICE! Get me a present next year. Wee.
Derrick. My dearest mistress in Ninja-do. Sometimes, I hate him for lying so REAL lo. KNS. Lol.
Diana. Ar.. I missed her lots. Meeting up soon.
Florence. My forever LOVE! MUACKS*
Fu Xian. A friend who is always here and there for me.
Gerry. My life motivation. THANKS. Hope you are happy, too!
Grace. My CUTE friend. CUM weekly swimming mate.
Han Lun. My lao shi xiong in Ninja-do. Going RED belt ar? Don't play play ar!
Han Sheng. Er.. My boss?
Hariz. My Hariz. That one lo. HEHS.
Huda. My second trustable friend in class. TERIMA KASIH. You rock my toes.
Hui Fang. I missed her too!
Hui Huan. My third besty friend in class. >.<
Ivan NG! Tomorrow his birthday le. NICEST guy around. HUGS*
Jacelyn. I saw her today! My hometown friend. Next time we go jalang Muar together!
Jansen. Mr NICE guy!
Jeannie. My fourth goody friend in class.
Jian Kai. Friends ba. Missed him too!
Jing Ying. My beloved cousin. I'm going back soon to see you.
Jin Quan. My really REALLY lao shi xiong. Xie le! You taught me many things.
Joannie. My 'MUMMY'! I missed and loved her a lot can.
Joe. AFTER all, so many JOEs in this world. LOL. He my working pal.
Kelvin. My msn and sms MATE! Take care, Seng! I happy you also happy.
Khairiah. Her words are powerful to me. MISSED her.
Kiwi. That joker! My papa's friend's son. Also my ex working buddy!
Kumar. LOL. Another lamer!
Linda. All thanks to Florence. I enjoy my Wednesday lunches with YOU!
Li Khoon. Hope we are meeting soon, Missy. Hello, Ms Nurse?
Lynn. MAD Lynny! I missed her lots. Our outing on 23 July!
Mark Cheong. CRAZY biotech guy. My president! NICE friend la HE!
Mark Lim. Of course I remembered him, la. MARCH OG.
Melissa. NEW friend I know. That QME year 3 senior lo.
Mui. OH LOVELY. My dearest 'mui sama'. LOVE you and ME! KNS la.. M_m
Natasha. NICE girl.
Nurul. Friendly ERS mate!
Oliver. KARATE camp friend.His FULL name is Mohsen Oliver Michael @ Mohsen Bin Muhd Malik. See why I'm learning malay culture now? -.-lll
Ping Hui. My penguin!
Poova. LOVELY friend. No broken yoyo here. You are MINE!
Sam. NICE dim sum friend! LOL.
Shi Ling. Yana's friend. NOW also my friends. SAMA SAMA. All Ninja-do de!
Shi Ya. My BEST ERS friend.
Shu Ling. Missed her!
Siew Ling. My ex sister in christ. Oh man. TAKE CARE!
Soon Lee. HEHS. That guy man!
Soon Hoon. MY daughter. Nu er, wo ai ni!!!
Tin Song. Haha. BO TAUK head! Lol.
Victor. Thanks for your concern and that gel.
Vincent. LOL. You are our most welcomed guest! HAPPY happy.
Wei Tai. LOL. My best working together in hand friend? TEOCHEWS rule.
Wei Wen. My besty MI friend. MISSED you very very much!
Wei Xin. Your birthday card still with me lo. KNS..
Wen Jun. Thanks to your ECE society for wanting to help. LOL! Ms environment rules!
Wen Yi. I will write to you SOON! Wee..
Xiang. Oh my.. I missed her too that BUSY girl!
Xin Yi. HAHA. My dearie! SP and NP rocks!
Xin Yuan. Nice JB guy! Xiao xin don't let bike kena stolen AGAIN!
Xi Zi. Wo often see ni lei. BEST wishes!
Yana. Another YANA. I loved her lots!!! >.<
Yim Wen. My lovely xiao yin!!! Missed you.
Yi Wen. My lovely lovely lovely cousin. I'll send you the wedding pictures soon! JIA YOU du shi.
Zheng Kai. THANKS to GERRY. HAHA. Another LAME ass. LOL.
Zhi Quan. MY GONG GONG!!!

I think roughly like that la. GOT many, many more! HEHS. You are nice. I'm wonderful. Together, we two make a perfect match. SMILES. Cheers. YANA + XUE = FOREVER TOGETHER. Wee. Muacks*

Don't think too much. Storms will be over soon. m_M

2006-07-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

Wa.. Today's darn hectic!

I'm going to sleep after blogging this. In the morning, I went swimming all alone. Grace couldn't meet. 'Cos she satyed overnight with Jie Ning and gang to celebrate birthday. Ya.. And I'm left, deserted. Hao gu du wor..

Back to the story, I didn't relaly enjoy swimming, though. First, I was the only person swimming in the pool. DARN what lo.. On the other hand, I have to keep looking out for my belongings. I sneaked into the condo ma. Hence, no locker. 15 minutes later, an old man and his maid joined me. The maid stayed put to look after things. The uncle was relaxing in the waters.

It's darn pathetic. 'Cos I realised I couldn't swim at all. I tried to dive in but floated up, instead. It's so KNS lo. I was fuming mad throughout. Then, there happened to have this sickening PERVERT! He actually filmed me from his apartmnet lo. Can you imagine that?

I can't. I really can't you know. I was extremely pissed off as I turned and saw him. That pair of scheming eyes. I ought to have dug them out. I should also break all his hands and legs. That creep! KNN. I went to bath after 30 minutes in the pool. I can't tahan. I just can't pretend nothing happen. I can't swim in that pervert's presence. That FUN guy ya?

And.. The worse thing was the shower room in the toilet was creepy, too! Echoes dwelled into my ears, while I was smeshed with cold, unfeeling running water from the tap. I forgot to bring soap and facial foam. Darn wasted! After a FAST bath, I quickly changed and combed my hair. Just then, the toilet door opened. A man's voice mumbled something and slammed it tight. Know what? I got this feeling.. It's that SICKO guy. I bet it's him. He's really sick. CB CB CB him.

After this, I went home, feeling lost. After all, living in a condo is highly dangerous. Oh man. how lovely I'm in a flat. I'm contented enough, already. Hehs. OPS..

At 1030, I met up with Yana at Clememti there, to go to MOE and take my O Level certificate. I retook 'cos of my mother's friend. Anyway, it's a LONG story to begin. Just remember it's my mother's friend's fault that I need to retake English paper.

Then the 2 of us went on a 'shopping spree'. I didn't really buy things, except for some SMALL earnings. And the thing is.. I spent about $20/= today. I'm darn broke. I'm spending money everyday. Oh man. I seriously need to hitch a richer friend and boyfriend. YANA, u hear that?!?

LOL. We have been to City Hall, Marina Centre, Bugis (street), Si Ma Road and, finally Bras Basah complex. Sun was scorching bright and weariness are certainly killing us. We are dying soon. We ate and ate. We walked and walked. We see and see. Today was a real eye opening for me. I actually went to many 'foreign'places in Singapore. Ok.. Call me sua ku la. I don't mind!

After all, Singapore is quite big. There are really many interestign places around. It's a pity that many of these traditional places are being tear down, or supposedly to. Very, VERY lang fei sia. HAHA. Oneday, if only I had all the money in the world..

If la.

If only lo.

I wanted to buy lots of things. I saw many things I longed to have. But, I'm not really bothered. 'Cos I know I could never afford them. Mui.. You still OWE me a birthday presenty! I know. I just know. Don't you think I forget. HEHS. I have yet buy Hariz's one, too. OPS..

Somehow, I learnt this TODAY. I should STOP complaining. If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, stop thinking about it. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

I'm still learning, though. I just want to be a better person. I want to nicer daughter, sister, friend and girlfriend. Haha. I shall emerge from these experiences. 'Attitide is everything which determines altitude.'

SO.. Goodbye 5Cs, Hello Happiness. Sometimes, one should let go of irrelevant pursuits. Human mindsets are always changing. It's necessary to work for ONLY good causes. Don't pursue things for what they are; Pursue things at YOUR own time and target.

One should try smile and stay cheerful. AND, try not to take things seriously. Loosen up and learn to laugh at yourself. Soon, the poeple around you will laugh together with you. TRUST me. It has always been like this.

LASTLY, I promised NOT to go swimming alone, again. Unless if I'm going with Grace, we will sneak into a condo. If not, I will got the public pool. NO more perverts, please! OH MAN.. YANA! I had an enjoyable day, too. Don't dwell on too much. If you are a bother, what am I then?

Don't say generous remarks next time, ya? We two will always be the way we are. I never give up on you before. You are someone who's dependable, helpful, polite, smart and UNIQUE. You are MINE, Mrs A! OPS..

Mrs LIM, I mean. 'Cos you must share same surname with me!

xueyan was here. v(^o^)v

2006-06-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Hello! Yana reporting here =)

Tis joint blog of ours is cool. All thanks to Xue Yan's brilliant idea ;) Well, i am oso at lost as to wat i shld write but i will be as honest as possible in here k? Shall expose & bare my nakedness =x

Tt's a lovely first entry gal. I'm so touched* I am glad to hav met a good fren like u too. U noe? I always hav tis mindset tt the frens i made in my poly life sumhow will neva last. Dun ask mi y. But i feel tt 3 yrs might nt be enuff to noe a person inside out? Dun u tink so? Tt's my warped thinking as usual.

However, when it comes to meeting certain people during my course of 2 yrs in poly, i am proud to say tt u hav proven mi wrong. Gal, i am not perfect as u tink i am. I do hav my flaws, juz tt mayb u might nt hav notice it yet.

Wat i hate most bout myself is my mind. The way i tink. I often feel lost. I dream most of the time, even in bright daylight.

I noe how much u muz hav 'suffered' enduring my rantings & complainings bout Arjun. I am so grateful tt u din abandon mi when i need a listening ear. When i feel utterly lousy bout myself, all i need is tranquility. Peace to bring my soul back to Earth again.

Let us continue to be the way we are. We dont hav to change for anyone. Accept mi for who i am & i will do the same too :) Expect no high expectations of mi for i, myself, is still unsure bout wat i aim inside.

I'm still learning on the beautiful journey called Friendship & i wan u to tread the path together wif mi =)

2006-06-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I've no idea how to start the ball rolling.

I'm just as happy as a lark to know someone like 'Yana'. I'm glad that she accepts me for what I'm to her. Sometimes, I still feel the nidge to get away from her. For what, I do not know. Yana.. You know something? I'm neither good in expressing my words nor actions.

I just want you to be a friend, though. A forever one. I do not wish to deceive anyone. But.. I hope we can remain like now, eternally. What I feel towards you is what you feel towards me. That's already more than enough.

In my opinion, you are perfect. It's just that you do not know. I really cherish you a lot, too. Ops.. Am I being too mushy?

Like I say, maybe I'm just fated to meet you. God gave me this opprtunity to know such an unique friend like 'you'. Sometimes, I know I show attitude. Eventually, I turn out to be somebody getting more and more eccentric. I'm sorry if I often scared you, in any ways. Actually, I've no offence. I do not mean any harm. 'Cos i'm just a human, after all. I do err, you see?

Throughout my whole 18 years of life, I've really seen all walks of life. Yet, I'm still not satisfied. I still yearn to win more. I want to strive much more harder than others. This is the competitive side of me. I'm always like this, if you do not realise. Nevertheless, I regarded you as an important and special buddy. You've an insignificant as compared to those in T2L1. You are not just a classmate, and acquaintance.

I really hope we two last. Really. Thanks for giving me this fairy tale an initial go. I believe we two can make it together, hand-in-hand.

xueyan was here. v(^o^)v